The Richter scale of Life's poop

Here's a litle education on the Richter scale. A Richter scale is what measures intensity of earthquakes. I came up with a lif version Richter scale that I thought I'd use in any future blogs about my disasters of life. I doubt people want to hear the happy, joyful news...I'm sure my disasters are more amusing. 

0-1: Very Minor Annoyance
        Only detected by Seismometer
-Your Neighbour's dogs bark for a few seconds...nothing unusual
-White noise


1-1.9: Minor annoyance
          Still only detected by Siesmometer
-slightly annoying song on radio
- internet a wee bit slower than usual
-It's getting a little bit warmer/colder in  the house


2-2.9: Annoyance
          you can just feel earth tremble a bit
-Neighbour's dog won't shut up
-You drop something and have to pick it up
-Light turns red
-Longer than usual line at Tim Hortons


3-3.9: Moderate Annoyance
            You certainly feel ground tremble but it's nothing of concern
-You get up, open door and yell at Neighbour's dogs
-You drop food on floor
-Stub toe lightly, enough to cause a small reaction
-coffee spills a bit onto your hand


4-4.9: Major annoyance
            Stuff actually moves a bit...
-You yell at neighbour's to tell them to shut their stupid dogs up
-You drop alot of food on the ground...like the whole turkey or cake
-you hit elbow off something
-something falls slightly ou of reach
-elastic breaks, socks get damp from random puddle on floor, it started to rain and you have no umbrella or jacket


5-5.9: Really BIG annoyance
          Stuff not only moves it falls of shelves
-Throw Rock at Neighbour's dogs
-hit head off something
-have to pay money to get something fixed...like the car or house
-ran out of cash, need to pay bills, can't obviously pay them on time
-burnt dinner to point of trashing it
-Leafs lose again and you have to listen to Leaf's nation fans complain
-Justin Bieber
-The Hills, Jersey Shore, Glee...MTV


6-6.9: Really, Really big annoyance
          Damage
-Flooded basement
-Tree falls on house causing some damage
 -You get cops called on you for harrassing the neighbour
-That guy shows up to shut your Hydro off
-phone disconnected, now you have to call phone company to re connect it and that could take weeks


7-7.9: Epic annoyance
          Damage to buildings.
-an actual earthquake damages your home
-tree falls through house
-tree falls on car
-have to go for surgery
-child birth
-death of pet

8-8.9 Catastrophic annoyance
           Total damages...
-your house is gone
-you become paralysed
-Diagnosed with cancer
-Zombie appocalypse happens
-death of friend/ family member


9-9.9 oh @#$% annoyance
         -Total devastation
-Nuclear winter
-you die
-earth becomes a total wasteland
-The Borg show up and assymilate earth


10- An asteroid destroys planet...or something like that