I was 12 when my parents dragged me off for some testing. I was disruptive at home, I was unable to focus in school and there had to be a logical reason as to why NOBODY liked me. Wait, the younger grades liked me but that was because I was at par with them. What 4th grader wouldn't want a 6th grader trading pokemon cards with them? As for kids my own age, they wanted nothing to do with me unless I had a big bag of candy and was willing to share. So off I went to fill out a 200 multiple choice questionaire, talk to some shrinks, and get a brain scan. The Brain Scan picked up multiple chemical imbalances and I was immediately prescribed Ritalyn. In all honesty the pills did nothing!
So here I was, a loner 6th grader on Ritalyn. At the end of the school year my teacher showed me my stack of orange detention slips...all 76 of them. All for forgetting to do stuff like my homework. I got the same amount of detentions in grade 7 and 8 as well. I coudn't focus on math (Except for some odd reason I totally aced Triginometry, I guess I just fancy triangles). I could not read music for the life of me so I cheated in Music class. I could not keep my mouth shut, I was always fidgiting, I carved holes into my desk, I doodled all over my work books, and I was unable to stand in the "Girl Circle" at recess. I don't regret being the Only girl who was not part of the "Girl Circle" because they talked about boring stuff like boys and makeup and that stupid TV series "Friends", so my inability to stand still for 5 seconds paid off.
I was taken off Ritalyn in grade 8 because it wasn't doing anything. I got picked on alot and I always felt left out. My classmates hated me because I was plainly annoying. I was trying to be funny but I wasn't good at it. I blamed everyone for being cruel but I know now that it wasn't their fault it was mine. I was the one who chose to drink Jolt and intentionally eat red candy, I was the one who couldn't keep her mouth shut, I was the one who gave up way too easily. I sat alone at all the school dances trying to get attention, I went home crying after grade 8 grad because nobody talked to me, I entered grade 9 solo. It was nobody's fault but my own.
In grade 10 I was put back on Ritalyn. And it actually worked. But I was only on it for about a month because it started to give me chest pains. I remember noticing all sorts of stuff I hadn't noticed before. I felt like I was in slow motion. For a short little while I had no problems with focusing and I didn't get into trouble. But grade 10 became an issue when A.D.D was no longer the problem, Anxiety Disorder and Bi-Polar was. I was simply unaware that I had a severe mood disorder. I got violent at home, I got myself into all sorts of trouble, I instigated many issues, someone even attempted to kill me in grade 10 because I pissed them off so much (Okay I'm sure she didn't want to kill me but she certainly wanted to hurt me...alot.) The A.D.D certainly didn't help things. I was a hyperactive Emo. That's the only way to describe myself. I was a Bubbly little Emo girl.
A.D.D goes away with age thankfully. I still feel it's effects though. I still have issues focusing and I am easily distracted. It's actually quite noticeable. But A.D.D just scratches the surface because my real problems were (and still are) Anxiety and Depression. Today the only problem I face with A.D.D is my forgetfulness. I'm still alive to write this so lucky for me I didn't get murdered for annoying anyone. And that right there is a success. Hang in there if you suffer from A.D.D...it becomes less of a problem with age and more of a funny personality quality. I still annoy people but they love me :D
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