Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The KFC Double down...and Me

             KFC introduced a new sandwich in Canada. It's called the Double Down. It consists of two seasoned fried chicken slabs with two types of cheese, bacon and sauce in the middle. Sounds very very yummy yet it's caused controversy. Why? It has 540 calories, 30 grams of fat and 1740 milligrams of sodium. To alot of people out there that spells "Artery cloggage and High blood pressure." To me it's the opportunity of my life!
            You see I'm special. I defy science. Nobody knows why I don't gain weight.  Doctors have actually told me to consume MORE salt to keep my blood pressure up...because I faint all over the place when my blood pressure gets too low. I've been informed to eat more sugar because my body doesn't store it very well. It also can't store sugars as fat so I have to eat actual fat and protein to gain weight. I'm just odd. So 540 calories? Awesome thats a quarter of what  must eat daily in order to maintain my current weight of 115lbs. 30 grams of fat...also good. Unfortunately my arteries can still end up clogged no matter how skinny I am so I have to watch the fats. 1740 mg of sodium? I won't be fainting anytime soon but I'll probably drink a liter of pop and that will get me all hyper (Which spells DISASTER).
              So will I try one of these controversial sandwiches? Oh heck yes! As soon as I get my tiny butt into a city I'm marching right up to KFC and I am ordering like 2 of them. They look yummy, sound yummy and are perfectly healthy for me. As for everyone else. TOO BAD! I hope I can get one before they ban it. Damn Canada for being overly health conscious. Don't they know Canadians need the extra fat to keep warm in the winter months?

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