I'm the type of person who basks in low self esteem. I always feel like a failure, I always feel as if I'm not good enough, And I feel that whatever I say and do is stupid. I never expect compliments or praise from anyone and when I do get praised it comes as a complete shock. I don't feel worthy of praise. My husband constantly tells me I'm awesome...naturally I don't believe him but I probably should.
Encouragement goes a long way. It can make a "Failure" feel like they can do anything. I've seen encouragement get people on welfare out in the work force instead of relying on the government their whole lives. I have seen messed up people become good people, druggies become clean, drunks become sober all because of encouragement. Now I don't know how many people's lives I have impacted with encouragement but I do know how many times my life has been impacted because someone took the time to encourage me instead of make me feel like crap.
Just a few weeks ago I was feeling miserable because I felt like I was failing as a mom. I felt so utterly stupid because my kid beat up some other kid while at school. Now the parent of this kid was not impressed so she naturally told me off. She didn't try to correct the issue she just full out confronted me and vented. She attacked my abilities of being a mom. "Kids are the product of their parents! Your not raising your kid right! Your kid is going to be a bully and end up nowhere like you! You can't even control your kid, I suggest you pull her out of school she's an animal!" Those comments hit me hard. I felt so bad, I was depressed over it for the rest of the week. She was even right about the ending up nowhere comment. I did end up "nowhere" Infact I'm in the middle of Nowhere it's called Norwood Ontario population 1300. But anyways I just felt like poop.
To make things even worse the schools PTA looks down on me. The older parents look at me like I'm trash. Rarely does anyone ever say I'm doing a good job, most just nag me out. Of course I feel uncomfortable, I look like I'm 17 and I have a 4 year old kid! And yes my kid is a handful...if shes a product of me she will end up ADD and have some sort of mood disorder. I have a mood disorder, I'm seasonal Bi-polar and suffer from Anxiety. So all the negative comments I was getting just boosted my anxiety nicely to the point I became a little Emo.
One morning I dropped Aurora off at school but she was having some issues. She didnt want to go to class so she took some swings at kids. I was so embarassed I pulled her out of school. She wanted to go home and I let her win so I felt like a failure. But No I was not letting my kid win, She got put in a corner for half an hour and when she calmed down I took her back to school. I walked in still feeling like an idiot. But Aurora was feeling better and promised to be good so I took her back. The comment I got from her teacher caught me offguard.
I got praised for what I did. I was told that most of the other parents wouldn't even cooperate the way I did. She said I was wise, said I was a very good mother and that she was grateful that I'm working with her to help my child become better. Besides my kid isn't a bully shes defensive. The other kids hit her first and she defended herself. But the moms of these boys (Yes boys larger than my kid) took no action to tell their boys it was wrong to push and shove and hit...No they were more focused on the fact MY kid bit and hit. So their kids continue to bully and Mine is expected to walk away and rat them out.
I went home that day in tears. People say I'm a good mom but I've never heard anyone say I raise my kid with concern and common sence. My kids teacher is amazing. I hope she can get the other moms to get on board with their boys. My kid is crazy, shes very hyper and sometimes violent. But I'm working on correcting that. Im not going to be lazy and let my kid do whatever she wants. I am however tempted to put my kid in hockey because she can kick some serious butt! If only I could afford it lol.
I have a long way to go. But when I think about it I'm only 23. I am married to someone I can't live without, We own a house, we owned our own retail business for 3 years, we're debt free, we belive in common sence, and our dream in life is 100% unselfish. We just want to help others and I hope we get that opportunity. I hate bragging, I prefer humility and I love encouraging others. Because if a bit of encouraging words has such an amazing impact on me imagine what it can do for others. Thats the power of encouragement.
No comments:
Post a Comment